If you have children, you understand the frustration that can come with trying to keep them safe as they navigate a world with digital devices. Keeping them engaged in the real world and safe from potential dangers in the digital onecan be a struggle. Many parents turn to parental controls to keep tabs on their kids online activity while also blocking access to unwanted sites and content.
While parental control apps are a huge help in managing your child’s online activity, digital solutions are not enough to keep your kids safe. The best protection is not a new gadget available on the market–but regular guidance from their adults on navigating the digital terrain.
What Parental Controls Do Well
Filtering Inappropriate Content
Content filters are great for filtering out inappropriate content that children might accidentally stumble upon. This could be things such a fowl language, in-app purchases, and adult content. You may have the option to block unwanted content or only allow sites and apps that you have identified as being ‘safe’.
Managing Screen Time
It can be easy for anyone to loose track of the time they spend on digital devices. Many parent control apps allow you to set a limit on the amount of time a child uses a device, but also what time of days the device can be active. This helps children keep a healthy balance of screentime to real world activity. It can also help prevent all-night gaming sessions while you think they are asleep!
Monitoring Activity
Due to their portability, it is more difficult to monitor what your child is doing with all of their screen time. Many parental controls let you see what apps your child uses, the websites they’ve visited, and the amount of time they’ve spend at each one. Some parental control apps take a more active involvement in monitoring and can be set to send you alerts when it detects you child is visiting a site or having a conversation that might put them at risk.
Limitations of Parental Controls
Kids Are Often More Tech-Savvy Than Parents
Because kids have time to explore their digital landscape–and because they have less fear of making mistakes, kids often know about games, websites, and features that their parents haven’t yet discovered. Add to that the abundance of information available to them from friends, social media, and online tutorials, it’s not uncommon for kids to quickly find ways around the technology that was designed to protect them.
Controls Can’t Monitor Every Conversation
While cyberbullying can happen on social media platforms and chatrooms for everyone to see, it’s far more likely that private messages are being used to taunt and/or humiliate a victim. While there are parental control apps available to scan for keywords that may indicate a child is being bullied, these apps can’t always understand the context. This can lead to false alarms (and notification fatigue for parents) or miss the bullying altogether.
New Threats Appear Faster Than Filters Can Keep Up
Just like it can be difficult to keep up with the latest slang your child is using, it is difficult for filters in parental controls to keep up with all the new online dangers. It’s estimated that a viral trend peaks in 3-5 days. Smaller changes to content filters can be made hourly or daily. But larger changes to the filter can take weeks or months! So, while content filters can catch a lot of things, some things are just too short-lived to be caught!
Technology Cannot Teach Judgement
The biggest limitation of parental controls is that it can’t help your child learn to use good judgement. Parental controls can help keep kids from accidentally bumping into inappropriate content, but it can’t teach them to make good decisions about what is an isn’t appropriate. It can create an approved list for SMS and chat features, but it can’t help them understand when a discussion is safe and when they are being groomed. And most importantly, it can’t teach them what to do if they end up in an online situation that feels unsafe.
Practical Steps Forward For Parents
Start Conversations Early
If your child is old enough to have an electronic device connected to the internet, they are old enough to have conversations about staying safe online. A conversation can be as simple as asking if you can see what they like to do online. Make sure they know they can talk to you about anything they see online that confuses or concerns them.
Teach Critical Thinking
Parental controls are essentially training wheels for digital technologies. The goal isn’t to protect your children forever–it’s to teach them how to protect themselves. Avoid long-winded lectures. Instead, aim for frequent check-ins and bite-sized information that they can use to keep themselves safe. Make sure to keep the lines of communication open with your children as they continue to age and need fewer controls on their accounts and devices.
Help Children Understand Digital Footprints
Help children and teens understand that once something is on the internet it is hard, or even impossible, to take it back. This could be things they have shared such as pictures of themselves and friends, locations they like to frequent, or any other identifying information that could be used by a untrusted person. But, they also need to understand this can include unkind words said in jest or the heat of the moment.
Encourage Healthy Skepticism
Take time to talk with your kids about things they see online that are trying to ‘trick’ them. This could be AI generated videos, doctored photos, or malicious links that promise free games or music. Help them understand that not everyone they meet online is trustworthy and not everything they see is honest.
